I'll be.....

*...I'll be your crying shoulder I'll be love's suicide I'll be better when I'm older....*

OMG I love that song. Idk it feels personal like the I'll be better when I'm older part especially (read the too young entry if u dont get it) Also this song makes me think of ppl....ppl I love so even when I can't talk to them or see them it's like all the memories come back and I'm there with them again. *sigh* Ya know how everybody says that girls plan their weddings from like age 10 on yea I want this at my wedding man i have a few other songs I want at my wedding too and then I want like white roses with some other kewl colorful flower representing people in my life that have passed like Poppy and Carla. Anyways I won't liek freak u guys out anymore, I probly have enough already but thats ok. On a totally different subject it's so weird when someone u used to like/like has a girlfriend. Idk i guess i just didn't think about it...there'd be someone other than me....wow that sounds selfish. Idk like I'm happy for him but at the same time i want us to be the same. Idk i'm bad at accepting change what can I say. Like I know we can't ever be together so it's like well why should I care then? But I do. Well that's all I have for you I wanna write a poem but I have nothing more to draw on really...aka I have no love life/life. Love you all!

peace,
Madelyn

Behind those eyes

Awwwwwww I love disney songs! They're just so positive and upbeat and idk they rock. There's this thing on itunes with a bunch of like disney songs with Someday my prince will come and a whole new world and part fo your world etc. <3! Anyways I don't really have anymore to say about that. So I'm gunna daylog now cuz i kinda wanna write but idk what to write. Anyways today was an ok day, a pretty typical thursday i guess. i hadta stay after to make up a science test and then afterwards i felt like a total nerd cuz i just like sat there with my headfones on and did a ton of hw. But hey i got a lot done so whatever. So i figured out that I bruised my back worse than I thought today cuz I hadta do forward rolls on the beam yesterday and now my back hurts. It sucks. And like randomly today Julia asks me if Amanda and I are still friends....weird.....idk but i like rambled on and made stupid excuses that we just don't see each other and stuff like that. Idk why I do that I mean why can't I just be honest with people and myself about me and amanda....we arent friends anymore. Wow that really makes me wanna cry. But I really don't wanna go into that now. I'm gonna take a shower so I'm squeaky clean tomara so happy blogging and happy friday tomorrow!!!

love you ALWAYS,
Madelyn


*...behind those eyes you lie and there's nothing I can say cuz I'm never gunna change your mind...behind those eyes you hide...*

p.s. just couldn't leave u without some song lyrics! ;)

You Raise Me Up....You really do

*...Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on... for it won't be long 'til i'm gonna need...somebody to lean on...*

I've known her since 1st grade but never took the time or energy to really introduce myself until 6th grade. Never think you're too good for anyone or that they're "not your type" you just never know. But one day I in the summer before 6th grade I was bored and decided to go out on a limb and call one girl I remember thinking at the time was "nice" but I didn't really know too well. Turns out we had almost the exact same schedule that year, our first of Middle school. We were partners for almost every project, one that sticks out was the bike trip we had to do in social studies...wow that was interesting... Anyways the summer after that we spent outside on her old homemade go-cart and mastering her atari games. Those were the good old days at their best.
*...Memories seep through my veins...*
We've had no such luck with classes since but our friendship is still as good...probably better than it was. She cares abotu me like no other and I'm afraid to admit that I do notice myself taking it for granted from time to time but fortunately most of the time I realize that I'm so lucky to have found her. I love you and you should know I'm so grateful to have you, never leave!

*...You just call out my name and you know wherever I am I'll come runnin...*

*...You're everything I know that makes me believe I'm not alone...I'm not alone...*

sick...bleh-->Let Me Go

Sry I haven't updated in a while. I've been sick like all week and nothing to exciting has happened meaning not much to blog about. ALright yall if you haven't you HAVE to listen to Let Me Go by 3 doors down. I love 3 doors down and this is like their new single so listen bitches!!! here's the lyrics for u cuz idk what else to write and i've been listening to it for like 2 days straight.

Let Me Go

One more kiss could be the best thing
One more lie could be the worst
and all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me


You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you dont know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin through

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me


You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you dont know who I am
So let me go
Just Let me goo...
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I knowww..
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows


You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you dont know Who I am
So let me go
Just let me go

and you me but you dont
you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont know who I am
and you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont know me

valentines day... * Searching all my days just to find you I'm not sure who I'm looking for I'll know it when I see you until then, I'll hide in my bedroom staying up all night just to write a love song for no one. *Monique was so right. Valentine's Day is so depressing. God it's not even here yet and i'm depressed. Nancy and Katie and I watched a chick flick tontie and i was awwww i want that SO much! As India arie said "I am ready for love!" Idk maybe i'd be better if i actually liked or had a chance with someone but the thing is I don't and it's not like i can make myself like someone. I love that John Mayer song, I can relate to it so well. (it's the thing at the top if you didn't know.) I sorta feel like I'm missing out on something or that like some part of me hasn't been opened yet because I've never been in love. I mean I know I'm only 15 but that really doesn't matter to me, I can love someone just as much as I could if I was 35. Uhhhh ok I'm gonna try and not dwell on this because * You can�t hurry love No, you just have to wait You got to trust, give it time No matter how long it takes * WisHiNg yoU ALl LovE! ~Madelyn

* Searching all my days just to find you I'm not sure who I'm looking for I'll know it when I see you until then, I'll hide in my bedroom staying up all night just to write a love song for no one. *

Monique was so right. Valentine's Day is so depressing. God it's not even here yet and i'm depressed. Nancy and Katie and I watched a chick flick tontie and i was awwww i want that SO much! As India arie said "I am ready for love!" Idk maybe i'd be better if i actually liked or had a chance with someone but the thing is I don't and it's not like i can make myself like someone. I love that John Mayer song, I can relate to it so well. (it's the thing at the top if you didn't know.) I sorta feel like I'm missing out on something or that like some part of me hasn't been opened yet because I've never been in love. I mean I know I'm only 15 but that really doesn't matter to me, I can love someone just as much as I could if I was 35. Uhhhh ok I'm gonna try and not dwell on this because * You can�t hurry love No, you just have to wait You got to trust, give it time No matter how long it takes *

WisHiNg yoU ALl LovE!

~Madelyn

stupid

Wow I'm so crabby right now. It's sad cuz earlier today i was so happy! We had some short classes cuz fo the pep fest which was pretty fun i guess, this one girl did a really sweet michael jackson dance thingy and the viewettes preformed, of course. Then on the bus everybody was like not talking and crabby and shitty so i like jus sat there and waited and waited and waited to get off. But idk i was happy again after cuz it was really nice outside and i was probly gunna hang with someone tonite. But of course after like 5000 fone calls nancy finally asks if she can do somethign and of course she can't and katie's like ya i'm tired not tonite. So great, it's too late to go to the bball game and i don't really have anyone to go with and now cuz of talking to ppl i'm crabby too. ARGH! I need to go to the Y and like let all my angryness out. Of course that won't happen. Oh well I gotta make the best of it, then maybe I'll be happy again. Talk to y'all later. I'm going to listen to some linkin park.

~Madelyn

India.Arie-Ready for Love=Beautiful

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patience, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect's the spirit world
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with a offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind

Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love

I am ready

OMG i love this song it's so true and the lyrics are BEAUTIFUL

So much changes in a year

My Soul Sister (3-28-04)
She's my anti-drug
A shoudler to cry on
she always cheers me up
and is there for me
I love her so much
I hope she knows
I hope this never changes


Forever.....? (2-5-05)
Best friends....Forever
wonder how many times we said that
No matter how many times it never made it true
Maybe we both knew
But then why was I so surprised?
Once we made a pact that if this happened one of us would ask why
Well I'm asking
Why did things change so much?
Why don't we talk anymore?
Why did we drift so far from each other?
I'm still here wondering...waiting...
My tears falling without your shoulder to dry them.

It's so hard to believe that both of these are about the same person. And only written a year apart.

*.....Friends we've been for so long/Now true colors are showing/Makes me wanna cry oh yes it does/Cuz I had to say goodbye/By now I should know/That in time things must change/So it shouldn't be so bad/So why do I feel so sad/How can I adjust/To the way that things are going/It's killing me slowly/Oh I just want it to be how it used to be.....*

One More Day

Agh it's hard not to daylog...for me at least. Oh well so much for never day logging. So yesterday Mike and Nancy and I went to the MV basketball game, my first one ever and it was a total blast even though I was like the only one who was like into the game. But it rocked hanging with awesome people like Nancy and Mike. And then today I had my 2nd to last meet of the season....scary!!! I did pretty well my bar routine was awesome btu vault kinda sucked, idk i placed in all the events and in all around so that's pretty awesome. Ugh I have so much homework to do tomorrow. o well i won't think about it now. *....he said the 1st thing that came to his mind... I'm already there take a look around I'm the sunshine in your hair, I'm the shadow on the ground I'm the whisper in the wind and I'll be there til the end...* Yeah...listening to the top 100 country songs of 2001. I don't care what you people say SOME country is good! *....if my heart had wings I would fly to you and lie beside you as you dream if my heart had wings...* Wow I swear there's not an entry in here that doesn't ahve song lyrics in it. tehehe. Alright I'm really running out of stuff to say so write more later....that poem thing is coming I promise!


Goodnite!
Madelyn

*....how do you keep your feet on the ground when you know that you are born....you were born to fly.....*

Nothing too Important

Well I was planning to have a poem thing for u guys but i'm not in the mood so maybe later, maybe tomorrow. I LOVE the cd's I got for my birthday!!!! I'm like addicted to the switchfoot one. Here's a line from "Economy Of Mercy"

*...In the economy of mercy I'm a poor and begging man, in the currency of grace is where my song begins in the colors of goodness and the scars that mark your skin...in the currency of grace is where my song begins...*

Wow Switchfoot is so awesome!! But really no one can beat train lyrics. they may not be the best performers or singers but they can write amazing lyrics, like this for example:

*When it rains and pours and opens doors and floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry, and in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love that have to say goodbye. and as I float along this ocean i can feel you like notion that won't seem to let me go cuz when i look to the sky something tells me you're here with me and you make everything alright.*

Ok idk what to ramble about anymore so I'll bid you adieu and post the poem later.

~Madelyn