dead wrong...

wow this has def been one of the worst days I've had in a long time. And i'm trying to look on the birght side, I really am but it's just really hard to see at this point in time. Idk everybody's like well at least your like 1/2 way done with finals and stuff, and yea that's true but it jsut doesnt seem that good right now. Plus once friday's done I highly doubt I'll be partying like everyone else because this weekend kinda seems like it's gonna suck even though it's my birthday sunday, how sad is that and my next semester schedule officially sucks because once again I will see like none of my friends during the day and get to feel like I have no friends, wow so much fun. But I think the best part of today is that I pretty much I feel like I've wasted the last 3 months of my life on someone who thinks nothing of me. And that I just like don't even have a chance in hell with them anymore. I'm never gonna have a boyfriend I swear to god. Seriously Lauren has a date for snodaze and I don't, not that I think i'm so much better than her because obviously I'm not but I just always thought like if she had a date I could for sure get one too. wrong once again. Idk like i said before I'm trying to look on the bright side like well you just gotta keep tlaking to him and hanging out cuz then maybe, there's a faint hope of him liking me sometime in the future or at least then I'll have gained a friendship out of the last 3 months. But I guess my expectations were just too high, and now I just really want more than that. Ok be positive, I can do it, a friendship is a really good thing and especially with a really good person so talking at all is better than nothing right? Maybe we'll just both go our separate ways and do just fine, sry just thought of hitch. sigh...surprisingly this is actually helping, it's somewhat mind-clearing because before everything was just like buzzing around but to write it I hafta sort things out. ok well I'm gonna leave it at that for now. cept wait...! one question for anyone reading this, is there any point in me telling him how I feel still? Because before...when I thought maybe I had a shot I was gonna but now I don't know if I should/want to. but i mean maybe it would be good?? idk comment.

madelyn