everyone knows I'm in over my head

5 days til christmas! that's crazy, and then after that it's like a week til new years! ahhh! hmm other year almost gone and what do I have to show for it...first date dance, permit, LOTS of new music, new level in gymnastics, idk all these seem kinda pitiful to me, somehow I feel like there should be more better accomplishments to name because it feels like it's been a pretty ok year except for the beginning that is. Maybe that shows that all the little things add up and make a difference in the long run even if you can't call them an accomplishment. hmm idk annnnyways....really hoping my parents got me an ipod for xmas because that would be purely amazing. umm my sister comes home on thursday, that should be fun cept chris is coming too and i mean he's really kewl but it just means like less sister time, o well anything's better than her not coming cuz I def haven't seen her since JULY! So anyone seen king kong yet? I really wanna go...maybe thurs, knowing me tho I'll probly start freaking out or like bawling at the end, something embarassing like that.

*...I'm losing you and its effortless....*
Yea kinda feel like that right now. Def not feeling the positive vibe about stuff anymore like I was a couple weeks ago. Idk guys are just way to confusing and mysterious. Fuck poker faces. ha yeaaa only a couple of u will get it but thats ok. But idk I jsut feel like i'm giving up without even wanting to and like if I give up that it'll just be the end, actually I'm pretty sure about that. Which makes me sad cuz that means he really just doesn't give a shit. or he only does if i do which isnt good enough. idk anyone who knows the situation...comments? suggestions? opinions?

alright well thats about it...onyl one more thing i wanna include. The Fray. I discovered them last weekend and am now completely obsessed with this song so here's the lyrics.

Over My Head (Cable Car)
The Fray

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

~MCS